H66
Handbook
Draft Paragraph
Let's Work Out!
Regular exercise helps p
eople in two
important ways It imp
roves people's
health. It make the har
t, lungs, bones,
and muscles stronger. W
orkin' out is also
good for the mind. It m
akes people feel
better about themsel
ves. It calms them
down when they feel b
ad. People should
get exercise.
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Editor's Marks
Draft Paragraph with Edits
Let's Work Out!
Regular exercise helps people in two
important ways It improves people's health.
It make the hart, lungs, bones, and muscles
stronger. Workin' out is also good for the mind.
It makes people feel better about themselves.
It calms them down when they feel bad.
People should get exercise.
The Benefits
of Exercise
First,
s
It keeps people at a healthy weight. Exercise
angry or stressed
When people get
exercise, they stay fit,
healthy, and happy.
.
Using the Six Traits to Revise a Paragraph
(Unit 6)
Handbook
H67
STEP 6
Revised Paragraph
The Benefits of Exercise
Regular exercise helps people in two important
ways. First, it improves people's health. It makes
the heart, lungs, bones, and muscles stronger. It
keeps people at a healthy weight. Exercise is also
good for the mind. It makes people feel better
about themselves. It calms them down when they
feel angry or stressed . When people get exercise,
they stay fit, healthy, and happy.
Ideas and Content : added another explanation
Organization : added a transition
Voice : used a more formal tone of voice for a school paper
Word Choice : used more specific words
Sentence Fluency : wrote a longer sentence
Conventions : corrected spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors
166
Unit 5 · Jazz It Up
recipe
the directions and
ingredients to
make something;
a formula
5
10
15
How did jazz begin? There was a re
cipe! There were
many parts. There were different p
eople. There were
Africans. There were Europeans. T
here was different
music. There was the blues. There w
as ragtime. All of
these combined. They made up the
recipe. America's
own music was born. It was jazz.
Workers sang. Where? They sang in
fields. They sang
on ships. They sang on railroads. T
he
work song was
a part of their day. People worked to
gether. They sang
work songs. They worked to a beat.
The songs made
it easier. There were many kinds of
work songs. Work
songs played a part in jazz.
Church music was important to ja
zz. African
Americans made new kinds of chu
rch music. Black
people formed churches. They rew
rote old songs. They
changed words. They changed the
beat. They changed
Threeingredientsinthejazzrecipeare
dancemusic,churchmusic,andtheblues.
Dancemusicwasoneingredient. Itwas
acombinationofAfricanandEuropean
music.Itwasplayedbyslavesatplantation
dances. Anotheringredientwaschurch
music. Itwasanewwayofwritingand
playingoldsongs.AfricanAmericanscreated
itintheirchurches. Athirdingredientwas
theblues. Slaveswerefreebythetimethe
blues
werefirstplayed.Butlifewasstill
hard.
Thatmadepeoplefeelsad.
Book A, Stude
nt Text
Reading and writing are reciprocal in
LANGUAGE!
"Excellent instruction in writing not only emphasizes correctness of forms and conventions, but
also instills in writers the command of a wide variety of forms, genres, styles, and tones, and the
ability to adapt to different contexts and purposes."
--Writing Next: Effective Strategies to Improve Writing of Adolescents in Middle and High Schools (2007)
LANGUAGE! aligns with the criteria for effective adolescent writing instruction,
as recommended by Writing Next. In particular, the curriculum addresses writing
for content learning and writing strategies, which involve teaching students to
plan, revise, and edit their compositions.
· LANGUAGE! students organize thoughts, write
increasingly sophisticated text, and communicate
effectively through the writing process. They progress
from writing expository paragraphs to literary
analyses and reports.
H54
Handbook
Graphic organizers and outlines help organize information to plan to write.
(Unit 1)
Organizing Information
(Unit 1)
Organizing Information
Both graphic organizers can organize the same information.
Informal (Two-Column) Outline (Unit 5)
28
LANGUAGE! Focus on English Learning Overview
www.sopriswest.com/language